


Letting Go

by wasatch_97



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: AU, Angst?, Flashbacks, M/M, Spring Festivals, but not here ig, canada nyc and korea!, hyuck is a teacher, idk im sleep deprived lmao, idk you tell me, is that the ship name?? lol, mark pursues music, markhyuck, markhyuck sadly has issues, markhyuck still trumps all, nohyuck showed up oops, sad ig, side nohyuck, sorry - Freeform, this is all briefly mentioned, what is tagging lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-29
Updated: 2019-04-29
Packaged: 2020-02-09 16:33:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18641896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wasatch_97/pseuds/wasatch_97
Summary: Mark wants to create music and Donghyuck wants love.





	Letting Go

Sighing, Mark fell back onto his pillow, staring up at the ceiling of his childhood bedroom, all the way back in Canada. 

Thoughts raced through his head, ideas for melodies and lyrics clouded by thoughts of his new life waiting for him in Korea- there was so much and he was too little. He often felt like that; that there was so much to do and he was just not enough. 

_“Mark, you are who you make yourself to be,”_ a voice always chimed inside his head when his thoughts turned on him. Images of a young chubby-cheeked boy holding out a watermelon flavored popsicle to him, eyes alight with mischief and excitement flooded his mind. 

The twenty-six year old groaned, rolling over to face the wall, late afternoon light from the windows casting shadows over the floor as he drifted back to years ago. 

☆ﾟ*･｡*･

_“Markie!”_

_Mark spun on his heel, just in time to catch a little redhead in his arms. “Watch it, you’re gonna hurt yourself,” he sighed, steadying the smaller boy on the sidewalk next to him._

_Donghyuck stared up at him with large sparkling eyes. “What type of best friend would you be if you didn’t catch me, Mark Lee?”_

_Mark chuckled, ruffling the boy’s hair, Donghyuck pouting but falling into step beside Mark and intertwining their fingers. “Where you going?”_

_“Library. Apparently when you enter sixth grade you’re supposed to study,” Mark snickered._

_“Yuck,” Donghyuck pouted. “I’m glad I’m in fifth.”_

_“Then why’re you coming with me, Hyuck?”_

_Donghyuck tugged on Mark’s hand, making the older boy stop on the sidewalk. “Here,” he said, presenting Mark with a watermelon popsicle pulled from his backpack. “I’ve known you for four years now, you can’t work without some sort of sugar.”_

_“Actually that’s you,” Mark giggled but accepted the popsicle anyhow. “Thanks, Hyuckie.”_

_Donghyuck grinned happily. “I have to go home, my mom expected me twenty minutes ago.” Mark frowned but Donghyuck just shrugged. “Good luck, Markie,” he added, standing on his tiptoes to kiss his cheek before running off._

☆ﾟ*･｡*･

“Darling, I’m so glad you decided to come home before going to Korea,” Mark’s mother said, touching his cheek. “All that work down in New York has made you so busy you’ve forgotten to take care of yourself,” she chided, patting his arm. “You’re almost as skinny as when you were a teenager and going through those ‘growth spurts.’” 

“Ma,” Mark groaned but smiled as the woman chuckled. 

“Sit yourself down at the table and I’ll have breakfast out in a bit.” 

Mark shook his head, grinning, and plopped into the seat beside his father who was staring intently at the news paper. “Anything interesting today, Dad?” 

He set down the paper, shaking his head. “All the world has to talk about are politics and that thing called K-pop?” 

“You’ve been reading up on what I’ll be doing?” Mark asked, eyes alight. 

His father shrugged. “Gotta see what my only son will be doing for the foreseeable future.” 

Mark’s grin had never been wider as he talked about producing and his excitement over breakfast with his family. 

“You’re going to the spring festival while you’re here, aren’t you?” his mother asked as they washed dishes together. 

“Mhm,” Mark nodded, stacking the plates and putting them in the cupboard. “Wouldn’t miss it.” 

His mother smiled. “I’m glad. We’re gonna miss you so much around here, love.” 

“I’m going to miss you too, Ma,” he replied, smiling at the woman. 

“Donghyuck’s coming back for the festival too,” she added quietly, watching Mark freeze up. “I just thought you should know.” 

“Thanks,” Mark murmured, voice strained. 

☆ﾟ*･｡*･

_“Ever wonder what it’s like to kiss someone?” Donghyuck asked, head in Mark’s lap as they watched some superhero movie on tv. “Have you kissed someone?”_

_The sixteen year old shook his head, embarrassed. “No, haven’t yet.”_

_“Can I kiss you then?” Donghyuck asked, giggling when Mark turned as red as a strawberry. “It’s just for practice.”_

_“I-I guess,” Mark stammered, blushing furiously when Donghyuck sat up and inched closer._

_Donghyuck’s eyes had always been big and expressive, but up close they shone. Mark anxiously glanced around Donghyuck’s face, from his eyes to the beauty marks on his cheeks until the younger boy grabbed his hands, grounding him. “Markie, it’s okay,” he whispered, and then there was the gentle press of lips on his own._

_“Oh,” Mark stuttered when Donghyuck pulled away, still bright red._

_Donghyuck giggled, squeezing his hands. “Can I tell you a secret?” Mark nodded dumbly, and Donghyuck tugged on his ear. “I wanted you to be my first kiss, ‘cause I like you, Mark Lee.”_

_“You like me?” Mark’s eyes had never been wider._

_“Like like you,” Donghyuck clarified. “I wouldn’t have confessed but Renjun told Chenle who told Jisung that you spilled the beans to Renjun and you like me. Is that right?”_

_“Yeah,” Mark mumbled, thinking of ways to kill Renjun. “I do.”_

_“Well, that settles it,” Donghyuck said, resting his head on Mark’s shoulder._

_“What?”_

_“You’re my boyfriend. Everything’s still the same, I know you’re scared of the dark and heights and also love music to death, but now I get to kiss you.”_

_“Makes sense,” Mark replied, smiling when Donghyuck snuggled closer._

☆ﾟ*･｡*･

Mark sighed, putting away his guitar, the anger of not getting a certain chord right for a new song he was working on bubbling under his skin. 

He glanced towards his mirror, noticing a picture taped to the edge of it. Walking over, his breath caught in his throat. It was him, age eighteen, with a seventeen year old Donghyuck wrapped around him, both of them smiling wide at the camera, Mark’s mom probably the photographer. Reaching forward, he traced the edge of Donghyuck’s face before pulling his hand away as if he had been burnt. 

☆ﾟ*･｡*･

_“Mark Lee, pay attention to me.”_

_Mark looked over at Donghyuck who was draped across his bed. “I’m trying to fill out these application forms, I’ll be done in a bit.”_

_Donghyuck let out a long sigh, dragging himself off the bed and plopping down onto Mark’s lap. “College this and college that,” he mumbled against Mark’s neck, “I miss you.”_

_“You’re needy, baby,” Mark hummed, one hand resting in Donghyuck's blonde locks while looking over his shoulder to continue filling forms out._

_“Very,” Donghyuck whined, moving to kiss Mark, effectively blocking his view of any work._

_“It’s gonna be your fault if I don’t get into a college,” Mark said between kisses, but Donghyuck just shrugged and pulled him closer._

☆ﾟ*･｡*･

Mark pulled at his ironed shirt, just escaping some old women who were cooing over him in favor of walking down the main street, looking at all the lights and booths that had been set up for the festival. 

“Mark!” 

“Oh, Mrs. Lee,” Mark greeted, walking over to the woman. “How have you been?” 

“It’s been the same for me,” Donghyuck’s mother replied, “what about for you? Being down in the US and all?” 

“It’s a different world,” Mark smiled, “but I’m glad to be back.” 

“Heard you’re leaving us again soon,” the woman grinned, “something about producing music in Korea? That’s a ways away!” 

“News sure does travel fast,” Mark chuckled. “And yeah, Korea’s far away from here.” 

“Well, I wish you the best of luck,” Mrs. Lee said, patting his arm. “You were always like a second son to me, make sure to call me up once in a while.” 

“Will do,” Mark chuckled, waving a goodbye to the woman who had indeed played a big part in his childhood. Glancing up from his mindless wandering he spotted an all too familiar face. 

☆ﾟ*･｡*･

_“Hyuck, I think we both know we should end this.”_

_Donghyuck stared at his hands, the wind rustling the leaves of the trees around them. “You had to drag me out into the middle of the woods on a Saturday morning to tell me you want to break up?” Donghyuck chuckled dryly._

_“I just think that it’s best. I want to give you a fresh start with your whole ‘college experience,’” Mark said, biting his lip. “Hyuck, I want what’s best for you, and I think being with me isn’t it. This last year with you still in high school has been really hard, and you deserve better. I just- I don’t know where I’m going with my life and I can’t promise you a life with my only dream being to ‘do something relating to music.’”_

_“We can figure it out together,” Donghyuck said, “I want to teach but I can teach anywhere, Mark. Just, we can make it work.”_

_“I don’t know, Hyuck,” Mark sighed. “I think I need to let you go. It’s been a long time coming.”_

_“Mark, no,” Donghyuck whispered, eyes clouding with tears. “I love you.”_

_“I love you too,” Mark murmured, “and I think that’s why I’m letting you go.”_

☆ﾟ*･｡*･

“Mark, this is Jeno,” Donghyuck murmured, gesturing to the dark haired boy beside him. “Jeno, this is Mark.” 

The boy smiled, stretching out a hand that Mark shook. “It’s nice to meet you, Hyuck talks about you a lot.” 

“It’s nice to meet you as well,” Mark returned, smile forced. 

“Would you mind if I talked to Mark for a bit?” Donghyuck asked Jeno, the man leaning down to kiss him before disappearing. 

“He seems nice,” Mark commented as Donghyuck began to walk beside him, the two headed away from the crowds. 

“He is. He’s amazing,” Donghyuck murmured. 

“How long?” 

Donghyuck brushed his brown bangs out of his eyes. “About two years now? Close to that.” 

Mark nodded, shooting a smile at the younger. “I’m happy for you, Hyuck.” 

Donghyuck smiled back, though it was small. “What about you?” 

“No,” Mark murmured, “I’m-” 

“You’re just married to the music, just how it’s always been,” Donghyuck cut in, words not harsh, just airy and sad. He smiled at Mark, although pain flashed through his dark eyes. “I heard about Korea. That’s an amazing opportunity.” 

“I’ll be able to do what I’ve always wanted,” Mark agreed, “producing songs. It’ll be different, but good. I hope.” 

They both chuckled, and Donghyuck shook his head, smiling. “I’m just, so very happy for you, Mark.” 

“And I’m happy for you too, Hyuck,” Mark said, “with teaching and all. You always wanted it.” 

“I did. Do,” Donghyuck agreed, giggling along with Mark when he wound their fingers together. “I love it.” 

Mark opened his mouth to speak but rain suddenly started falling, Donghyuck squeaking in shock, already almost drenched. “Let’s go, Hyuck,” Mark said, tugging at their joined hands. 

“Mark.” 

He froze, staring at Donghyuck, who was looking back at him with a twisted expression. “Mark-” 

“Hyuck, no,” Mark murmured, “you know it, we both know it.” 

“Mark,” Donghyuck breathed, “why did we split?” 

“Hyuck, we weren’t meant to last forever. We’re made to do different things.” 

Donghyuck closed his eyes, squeezing Mark’s hands tightly. “I would- I want to go to Korea to be with you.” 

“Hyuck,” Mark sighed, looking at their hands. “We always do this, but we have different lives. We have work, you have him, we’re not teenagers anymore.” 

“Mark,” Donghyuck dropped his hands and cupped the older’s face, running a thumb over Mark’s cheek. A tear mixed with rain ran along the curve of Donghyuck’s face, and Mark ached to wipe it away but didn’t. Couldn’t. 

“Mark,” Donghyuck whispered again. “I love you.” More tears brimmed on his eyelashes. “You’re the love of my life.” 

Donghyuck’s voice cracked, immense pain resting in his words, and Mark numbly nodded, feeling his own tears beginning to show. He grasped Donghyuck’s hands, gently pulling them away from his face. 

He felt them quiver in his own and he met the younger’s dark eyes, eyes reflecting the rain and everything Mark felt. He let out a breath of air, hand curving around Donghyuck’s jaw and pressing a kiss to his temple. 

Pulling away, he looked one last time into Donghyuck’s eyes, tears now flooding down the younger’s cheeks, meshing with the rain. 

“Goodbye, Donghyuck.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Leave kudos and comments they seriously make my day!! Come shout at me on tumblr, the link is in my bio I'm too lazy to add it here lmaoo <3


End file.
